what the rest of the world calls "football"

I just watched Arsenal dump Real Madrid in the Champion's League. The game itself was a 0-0 tie, which was actually fun to watch. Since Arsenal scored one goal previously in the series, Real Madrid is eliminated.

I really like watching soccer. It's fun to play, too, though I'm horrible at it. My one good skill in soccer is that I can execute a slide tackle. Beautiful slide tackles. I was apparently born with it; I played my first game of soccer at age 18. A bunch of my Devil's Lake friends were playing a pickup game in one of the open area parks with the foreign exchange students (Christian Hernes, Norway; Giovanni Girelli, Italy). One of them had the ball, and was advancing to score what should have been an inexorable goal. I tucked the leg in and slid, knocked the ball out perfectly. No contact with the skilled european player that had played soccer all of his life. Nothing but ball.

I played on a intramural soccer team in college as well. Freshman year; I really wasn't prepared for it. I had no idea that I'd be playing folks that actually played soccer in high school. We got whomped. I seriously had no idea that there would be players in Minnesota that didn't suck at least as much as I did. Maybe I played four games before our team, the Crispy Hexagons, pretty much just disbanded.

Maybe the 7th time I played soccer was 2 years ago -- Brandon, Ross, Sam, perhaps Patrick, Zavodny, perhaps Korn. I don't know. I executed a perfect slide tackle there too, and It was another good one too -- nothing but ball. I remember that it was on Sam. I was then informed that it wasn't allowed in pickup games. The goalies couldn't use their hands either. I didn't want to play in those pickup games much after that.

I like playing defense, because I think that's the most fun. I'm not sure what makes me like it so much. Maybe it's about denying some bastard his joy. Maybe it's the position where I'm expected to dish out pain and receive it as well. Don't get me wrong, I like to score here and there too. But that's never my impetus to play a team sport. I want to make plays on defense. I like being able to see everything.

So, it's fairly well established that I don't know anything about soccer except for maybe slide tackles. But, inevitably, I have to pick a team for which to root. How do I choose that? Colors, Logo, Name. Colors, name, and logo play a big part of why I like sports teams, or don't. Why else would I hate the Vancouver Canucks? At any rate, I'm drawn like a moth to a light to teams that pick weird colors. It's like rooting for an anti-team. It's like they're trying to subert the system of colors. That's why I like the Cleveland Browns (logo:none, colors: brown, orange, white, black). Most sports teams have the same color matchups. Blue/Yellow. Blue/White/Red. Black/Yellow. Red/Gold. Black/Grey/White (with teal added for extra suck). Blue/Orange. Green/Silver/White. Red/Green. I'd guess those color combos make up 90% of all teams out there in the U.S., and I tend to instantly like any team that deviates significantly from the color scheme. I'll like teams with those standard colors if I like their logo or name. Boston Bruins, for example (logo: radial yellow B. colors: Black, Yellow, White).

I can't remember who David's favorite soccer teams are. I want to say Glasgow or Aberdeen, but maybe it's Arsenal. Hell, I don't know. Maybe it's Manchester United, but if memory serves he hates Manchester United in the same way he hates Sting. I don't remember. Casey likes one of the teams in the Bundesliga. Can't remember who; she informs me that they suck. I want to say Hamburg, Munich, or Frankfurt. Who knows; I just recall that their logo has a skull on it.

So, that brings me back to tonight's game. I enjoyed watching it more than any game I saw this year, besides maybe a few Steelers games and the Vikings romp over Detroit. I like the fact that no one scored. I like the fact that the game was 0-0 and there was still a winner. I like the fact that it's never a guarantee that there will be a goal scored. You want to know why? When a goal is scored, people go apeshit. Even if you have an open net, it's still not a guarantee. I watched 3 shots bounce off the goalposts. Yeah! I like Arsenal. Why? Who knows. Maybe it's the rust brown uniforms. Maybe it's that the best players I saw were Scandinavian (Fredrik Ljungberg) and French (Thierre Henry). Any team that wears rust brown/burgundy as their colors is alright in my book. Even better, Arsenal's away colors? Yellow and black. Hells yes. Their emblem? A fucking cannon. I can't help but halfways think that AC/DC's "For Those About To Rock" was really just a tribute to Arsenal. We have a winner. It doesn't get much better than that.